SMILE.........

"They say John Kerry is the first Democratic presidential candidate in history to raise $50 million in a three-month period. Actually, that's nothing. He once raised $500 million with two words: 'I do.'" —Jay Leno

"You see the pictures in the paper today of John Kerry windsurfing? He's at his home in Nantucket this week, doing his favorite thing, windsurfing. Even his hobby depends on which way the wind blows." —Jay Leno

"'Shrek 2' made over $120 million during its first week. In a related story, John Kerry asked Shrek to marry him." —Conan O'Brien

"Lot of people wondering if John Kerry supports gay marriages. Here's a hint ... he gets $1,000 haircuts." —Craig Kilborn

"John Kerry's wife Teresa Heinz is on the cover of Newsweek magazine this week and they said that if he is elected president, she will be the oldest first lady in American history. But that doesn't bother John Kerry, he said, 'To me, she looks like a million bucks'" —Jay Leno

"Well the good news for Democrats, now over half the country can identify a picture of John Kerry. The bad news, the majority still thinks he's the dad from 'The Munsters."' —Jay Leno

Just think... If John Kerry becomes president, he will not only give the State of the Union Address - he'll also give the rebuttal afterward - Wayne from Downers.

Th-Th-Th-That's all folks !